


Rules for Being a Horror Movie Character

by Hobbit4Lyfe



Series: How to Survive Scary Stuff [1]
Category: Psycho (1960), Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5191217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title is self-explanatory. Let me know if there's a rule you think should be added. If so, please GIVE EXAMPLES. Moved from FanFiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules for Being a Horror Movie Character

1\. If you’re a woman, be careful. If the killer/monster comes after you, don’t be afraid to defend yourself. If you don’t, you absolutely will die. See Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (especially Marion Crane).  
2\. If you’re a woman, don’t be blond. See rule number 1.  
3\. Do not, I repeat, do NOT go in the basement. Bad things happen in the basement. See Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (especially when Lila finds Mother there). See also Psycho II (when the young man gets killed down there, and the girl almost does too, while Norman’s locked in the attic; when Lila tries to get her Mother costume down there; when Mary runs away from Norman).  
4\. Do not take a shower. See rule number 2.  
5\. Do not sell your soul to the Devil. Of course the Devil is going to get the better of you, and you’ll be doomed to Hell. Think of the “be careful what you wish for” cliché. See Nicolas Cage in Ghost Rider.  
6\. Vampires are scary bloodsuckers. They absolutely DO NOT sparkle (cough cough… Cullens, this means you…). See the various versions of Dracula (especially the Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee ones). See also The Lost Boys.  
7\. The nice guys aren’t always so nice. They could be psycho killers. See Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (especially Norman Bates).  
8\. Don’t try to bring back the dead. Things will always go wrong. See the various versions of Frankenstein, and any other movies that deal with various forms of reanimation. See also my essay called ‘Til Death Do Us Part?.  
9\. If you’re in an Alfred Hitchcock movie, watch out for birds. See the killer birds in The Birds. Also see the various bird references in Psycho (for example: Marion Crane, Norman Bates’ taxidermy birds, Norman’s quote “You… you eat like a bird.”). Also (also), the scene in North by Northwest where the man is chased through the field by an airplane could be seen as an attack by a man-made bird.  
10\. Do not make love when there’s a serial killer on the loose. Especially don’t do it on their turf. See the Friday the 13th series, especially the first one. See also the first Psycho II example in rule number 3.  
11\. Don’t say Beetlejuice’s name three times. Enough said.  
12\. Get Caller ID. If you don’t recognize the number, don’t answer the phone. It’s just possible that the killer’s on the other end. Just don’t answer it, even if it ends up killing you anyway. See the opening sequence of Scream. See also One Missed Call.  
13\. Watch out for clowns. Prime example: Stephen King’s It.  
14\. Zombies are slow-moving. See Night of the Living Dead and other classic (i.e. older/George A. Romero) zombie movies. See also The Walking Dead.  
15\. Look in your backseat. There’s a good chance the killer is hanging out in your back seat, waiting to, you know, kill you. See Urban Legend. See also See Let Me In and Interview with the Vampire. (Special thanks to CinemaBlend: http://www.cinemablend.com/new/11-Horror-Movie-Cliches-How-They-Can-Done-Right-33768-p5.html)  
16\. Don’t go into a graveyard alone. For example, take the “Father’s Day” segment in Stephen King and George A. Romero’s original Creepshow.  
17\. Listen to the locals’ legends/stories/warnings about the notoriously creepy place in town. Chances are, they’ll be right. See the Daniel Radcliffe movie The Woman in Black. (Special thanks to FanFiction user Lysi Nothuna.)  
18\. Make sure you check out a house’s history if you aren’t its first owner. See the various versions of The Amityville Horror. (Special thanks to http://bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/211922/special-feature-11-things-horror-movies-have-taught-me/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_26129.)  
19\. Don’t bully people. Eventually, the victims will snap, and people will get hurt. For example: Various versions of Stephen King’s Carrie. Also, unfortunately, this happens way too often in real life.  
20\. If you’re a writer, don’t be in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, especially not during the middle of winter. See various versions of Stephen King’s The Shining and Misery.  
21\. Don’t drink and drive. That’s what caused the accident that got Paul Sheldon held captive by Annie Wilkes in the first place in Stephen King’s Misery.  
22\. If you’re famous, try not to meet your fans (Stephen King’s Misery). They may seem nice at first, but they’ll turn out completely nuts (again, see Misery. Also, the bit about people being unexpectedly crazy also applies to rule number 7).  
23\. If you’re camping in the woods, don’t use the “restroom” alone, especially at night. For example, Supernatural Season 1 Episode 2, “Wendigo.”  
24\. Be careful around lakes. You don’t know what kinds of dangerous things are in the water. Examples: The first/original Friday the 13th movie; Supernatural Season 1 Episode 3, “Dead in the Water.”  
25\. Don’t do the whole “Bloody Mary” bathroom ritual. It never ends well. Examples: The actual urban legend, and Supernatural Season 1 Episode 5, “Bloody Mary.”  
26\. Watch out for big black dogs. Even if said dogs aren’t really demonic in nature, they could be a cover-up for dangerous humans. For example: The Grim in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the computer game Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake, and every incarnation ever of the Sherlock Holmes story The Hound of the Baskervilles.  
27\. Be aware that even the most mundane, everyday animals can be killing machines. See Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, Stephen King’s Cujo, and the Jaws series. (Suggested by FanFiction user kornerbrandon; examples 2 and 3 added by the author.)  
28\. If someone has funny-colored eyes, they’re probably not human. See various episodes of Supernatural.  
29\. “If someone says a place is haunted, don’t go in!” Wise advice from Dean Winchester, Supernatural Season 1 Episode 10, “Asylum.”  
30\. Never take roads or routes you are unfamiliar with. For example: Various versions of Children of the Corn and its sequels and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. (Suggested by FanFiction user Lady Shadow92.)  
31\. If you see a pot of gold, leave it alone. See the Leprechaun movies. (Suggested by FanFiction user Lady Shadow92.)  
32\. Dolls are evil. For example: Dead Silence. See also the Child’s Play/Chucky series. (Suggested by FanFiction user Lady Shadow92.)  
33\. Clowns are also evil. See Supernatural Season 2 Episode 2, “Everybody Loves a Clown.”  
34\. If you’re using an EMF detector, make sure there aren’t any working power lines that would make the detectors spike. See Supernatural Season 1 Episode 17, “Hell House.”  
35\. If there’s a legend about girls dying in a haunted house, don’t go in there if you’re a girl. See Supernatural Season 1 Episode 17, “Hell House.” See also rules number 1 through 3.  
36\. Don’t fake a ghost story about a haunted house. It may actually be haunted. See Supernatural Season 1 Episode 17, “Hell House.”  
37\. Using Ouija boards = bad idea. See that Ouija movie.  
38\. If you’re creeped out by a painting, don’t buy it. See Supernatural Season 1 Episode 19, “Provenance.”  
39\. To kill a vampire, go for taking the head off. See various episodes of Supernatural.  
40\. If you find an obvious way to escape your situation, take it. See the Nationwide Insurance commercial initially released in October 2014.  
41\. Be nice to people before prom, or at least wear fire-retardant tuxes, prom dresses, and underwear. See various versions of Stephen King’s Carrie. See also rule 19. (Suggested by Premarosa.)


End file.
